This is the way i had in my past to express myself to me. Writing down everything and everything how i felt and what i felt on a paper. Although i am person with a diary in my bag, i chose this paperwork because the diary isn't enough for me to write it all in detail.
And i started writing these from the sixth standard (school) and it is no doubt to say this is still carrying my legacy as a property. I wrote, and i wrote in those days i'm not even having a google account. And blogging is miles away. It is school, i am the first rank holder and i safely handled this reign as long as i can until my tenth standard (final year in school study). My paperwork helped me through all the struggles i faced. And the book readings i read strengthened to my habit i learnt in a book about a saying...
An unwritten goal is only a wish
And i am inspired by the saying/quote and i began to write more, really i mean more and more. Some may think i'm foolish and some as am a mad. Some treated me as a beast of writing. Because from my childhood am a theoretical guy but not a problematic or a mathematical . I never had an interest in the math but i love medical field. By phase I fall in this technical field (Engineering).
And when i noticed that i am not able to enter the medical field of study am forcibly joined into a technical field where i have to take punches from the very toughest problems. And they almost had me but i 'am survived and i still need to survive. It is all God given 'mental' strength to me. I wrote down them all in the papers and all weirdest things i saw and all cases which am the one who has to blame on myself, in my failures,in my success always at my doorstep are the white papers in which i lost into them in writing.
KIND OF SILLY
It sounds kind of silly and meaningless to others by knowing this habit. I wrote long, yes i do. And am the one who won the one prize on the one desk held for the essay writing on environment and about national leaders. I can remember them i won twice with a complete domination. There is no place for competition if there is me in case of writing. But, still my handwriting is poor (even now). I think it's my hand problem and some kind of social anxiety. However i survived and i won.
My writings are sometimes sounds silly to myself because i write about everything. Those papers became my grandparents and they became my best friends. I can only share with those papers which i am unable to share with my family. And every little funny thing, sad and sort of feelings i write them down. And always i felt lonely even when am surrounded by crowds.
And still i don't know what is the cause for it. I wrote my first 'short story' named 'Mobos' which i wrote after watching a hollywood movie of Godzilla series. I wrote the exact things in the movie and i changed some. But to my surprise it is not at all bad. That small silly writing which i thought would be a timepass changed me completely. And i soon followed the echo of my writing skill and wrote another short story which is somewhat long named 'An expedition to antarctica' It dealt with the group of scientists visit to that continent and the idea of this story born from my English textbook of some class. And it really empowered me, gave me a hope that i can move forward with the writing thing.
MILLION LINES OF AGONY AND PRAYER
This is completely different from the writing. Because i started to write down my prayers to God on the papers.
I cried not in voice but on my papers when i write.
It is confusing as one may think 'how could this be possible! to cry in a writing?' but i know how to cry in writing . When i felt sad and disturbed i gave work to my hands on the papers and all my cry flowed there as words. It means that the tears became words and i am not encouraged by anyone to write, i did it all by myself.
MILLION LINES OF AGONY AND PRAYER
This is completely different from the writing. Because i started to write down my prayers to God on the papers.
I cried not in voice but on my papers when i write.
It is confusing as one may think 'how could this be possible! to cry in a writing?' but i know how to cry in writing . When i felt sad and disturbed i gave work to my hands on the papers and all my cry flowed there as words. It means that the tears became words and i am not encouraged by anyone to write, i did it all by myself.
Sometimes my dad saw me writing and said that i may become a good writer. And it's true, sometimes my prayers are really short and sometimes very long all the focus is to get what i wish. Asking God and pressuring him to provide me strength to fight. My letters are more than my age, I didn't open my mouth for words as i open my pen cap. This is neither a goal of mine, nor an interest. Coming to that point i'm not even interested at studies before i entered the school. Its all the competitive spirit in me that lead me straight into the valley of wisdom. And here i declare that i hadn't practiced it, it came as a pickup passenger on my journey
All those painful moments, prayers with tears and all are clear as documents with me. And i burnt them all before i memorise because i realised to write and show them in my life here. I can't preserve them because am a human too i may envy myself for being such a crybaby and a beggar of God. I am not a beggar anymore but am the inherent. It's my right to gain what i am supposed to have.
Coming to the writing anyone can do that. Remember the history at the time of Einstein and Erasmus there are no blogging platforms and not even a pagers and mostly no papers too. They prefer the writing thats it. It may be a chart or a board or a piece of cloth, a leaf. They just wrote and it is all they did and discovered and invented and explored. Today, we feel lost when we have no connection to the internet, some may let themselves down and they lose their confidence and feel empty without a search engine. Am not saying this as an example because i am on the same phase. Because it's the improvised technology that grab all of our attention. And the revolution, this tech has brought is phenomenal and fantastic.
Today we get 99.9999% accuracy programmed systems and the reliable softwares to some extent. Everything at our fingertips and one touch away this made us to depend on the technology and its not a problem to us if we control them. It is only dangerous and hazardous when they control us,hope we are not their puppets.
Anyway writing is now blogging for me. The papers will be my ancestors forever and will be stand tall and the bloggers will rule by the keyboard.
I hope i can be the one among the bloggers out there. And my paper legacy is now an outdated one i never be a silly one to represent myself, i will focus on what i am talking about and i am a student for a lifetime. Thanks to the paperwork which i did, which is my history.
My writings included innumerable covenants to overcome some bad practices but none of them stand and gave me a victory. Everytime i write and everytime i fall and this made me much upset with the covenants which aren't at work in my case. I took The Holy Bible as inspiration to write these covenants, they didn't worked out for me because i didn't valued them and its my fault. I must make a covenant in my heart first to make it an active one.
And i am imaginative icon in my world.
All those painful moments, prayers with tears and all are clear as documents with me. And i burnt them all before i memorise because i realised to write and show them in my life here. I can't preserve them because am a human too i may envy myself for being such a crybaby and a beggar of God. I am not a beggar anymore but am the inherent. It's my right to gain what i am supposed to have.
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| courtesy: picjumbo |
Coming to the writing anyone can do that. Remember the history at the time of Einstein and Erasmus there are no blogging platforms and not even a pagers and mostly no papers too. They prefer the writing thats it. It may be a chart or a board or a piece of cloth, a leaf. They just wrote and it is all they did and discovered and invented and explored. Today, we feel lost when we have no connection to the internet, some may let themselves down and they lose their confidence and feel empty without a search engine. Am not saying this as an example because i am on the same phase. Because it's the improvised technology that grab all of our attention. And the revolution, this tech has brought is phenomenal and fantastic.
Today we get 99.9999% accuracy programmed systems and the reliable softwares to some extent. Everything at our fingertips and one touch away this made us to depend on the technology and its not a problem to us if we control them. It is only dangerous and hazardous when they control us,hope we are not their puppets.
Anyway writing is now blogging for me. The papers will be my ancestors forever and will be stand tall and the bloggers will rule by the keyboard.
I hope i can be the one among the bloggers out there. And my paper legacy is now an outdated one i never be a silly one to represent myself, i will focus on what i am talking about and i am a student for a lifetime. Thanks to the paperwork which i did, which is my history.
My writings included innumerable covenants to overcome some bad practices but none of them stand and gave me a victory. Everytime i write and everytime i fall and this made me much upset with the covenants which aren't at work in my case. I took The Holy Bible as inspiration to write these covenants, they didn't worked out for me because i didn't valued them and its my fault. I must make a covenant in my heart first to make it an active one.
And i am imaginative icon in my world.
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